Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Thank You From The Bottom Of My Heart


There is something so renewing, so fresh, so spiritual about
white.  Clean, simple a new beginning ...
and it is a new day.

Thank you so much for all of your kind words and wise advice.
I reached out for help and you were there.  You uplifted my
heart when I was feeling defeated.  

Thank You!




You all gave me sensible, realistic and sound ideas for 
how to handle what I was not handling very well.
You were both firm and loving.  I could not ask for
better friends.



  
Your words of encouragement both as blog comments and
as personal emails touched my heart.  You uplifted me and gave
me hope.




The two most important things I learned was that I was (as one commenter
so wisely stated) being treated like a teenager.  So true and I was 
beginning to act like one too.

Years ago I had a little cartoon that I kept on my desk in my office.
At that time I was a pretty successful business woman.  I wore 
power suits, carried an expensive briefcase and had an expense account.
Now this cartoon showed a woman dressed like I was at that time.
She was headed to the airport to get on a plane to go home.
She arrives at the door of her parents home.  She has shed that
business suit, the briefcase has fallen to the ground and there
is a teddy bear in her hand instead.  She has reverted to a child.
I can't think of a better depiction of the person I have been lately.




Parents can do that to us.  They have the power to reduce us to
children when we no longer are.  Logically I knew this but
my heart had forgotten.




With your help I was reminded that I need to set boundaries.
That is step one.

Mom needs some freedom and some time away from me.
I am contacting a caregiving agency that provides 
companion services.  I will have someone pick her up
and take her places until Mom has established a network
of friends here in our new city.

I need to put the needs of my marriage first.
While I will always make sure that my Mom is
comfortable, safe and secure, her needs can be no more
important than those of other family members.

When I get frustrated I need to take a time out and 
exercise, meditate, have a facial or lunch with a friend.

Many of you suggested that I move Mom to assisted living.
Knowing me and knowing my Mom, I just can't do that.
I will do what I can to create the happiest environment for all
concerned and just not sweat the small stuff.

Thank You
Thank You
Thank You!

How blessed I am to have you as friends.

Please visit my friends 


They are celebrating their 100th What's It Wednesday
Party.  Congratulations girls!


Big Texas Hugs,
Susan and Bentley





17 comments:

  1. I am glad you are getting things in order for all concerned. It is very difficult at times to make choices, but we have to do it. It is amazing how much inner strength we have if we look for it. Hang in, time takes care of a lot of things.

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  2. You are sweet and loving person but I can see their is also a tough side to Susan when there needs to be... Protecting yourself from hurt by anyone is a natural instinct and comes in handy in this type of situation.. I am so dang proud of you~!
    big hugs
    Sonny

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  3. Susan, This is wonderful. I can hear the hope back in your voice..and a determination to not let mom rule you anymore. I am proud of you for reaching out and asking us all and bearing your heart.so many times that is the crucial first step, asking for help..and now it is on the way...
    Hugs from Georgia...
    Love, Mona

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  4. The wisdom of friends helps so much! I am glad you reached out and found some answers and paths to take! Sending you hugs!

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  5. Susan ~ I am so happy that you have decided to set boundaries, where there should be boundaries. I so hope that your mom will find new friends in a new place. She also needs companions of her own age. I am SOOO happy that you will take time for yourself and David.
    I know it must have been very difficult to bare your soul, but I think a wise one. Many loving comments and suggestions and just the right little push to get you started on the right track. You knew what was right, you just needed a little encouragement.
    (((Hugs)))

    Marianne

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  6. Sounds like you're moving in the right direction. Some commenters were a little too firm, in my opinion. Of course you love your mother, but you have needs too. And you need to take care of yourself first.
    Brenda

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  7. Hi Susan, having a parent live with you can be a difficult task. Like you say, you love her, but you can not let her control you. Show her love and tenderness, but with a little bit of sternness mixed in. I'm sure that's what she did with you as a child. Blessings for you, your family, and your mom! Yes, definitely take some alone time.
    hugs,
    Jann

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  8. I am so happy that everyone reached out to you Susan. It's very hard having a parent live with you when they have had their own home and you yours. I think all the things you mention in your post will help you. You know parents as they get older, act more like children.
    Have a wonderful weekend and you and your husband go out and have some fun alone.
    Mary

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  9. God bless you, Susan. My mother lived with me for four years with dementia when I had four kids- three of them under 5 years old. It wa one of hte worst times of my life. I vowed I would NEVER put one of my children through what I went through and we made arrangements many years ago to be taken care of it something unforeseen happens to either of us. I truly understand what you are going through- xo Diana

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  10. So glad to hear things are falling in place for you. You received some very good advice.......boundaries and priorities......

    When I was a young married woman, my mom and my sister were always pulling and pushing me in different directions to suit their needs and ideals. It was my hubby who calmly informed me that 'we' were first in our lives.......and once I was brave enough to state, 'hubby and I have decided to do it this way', well, everything changed!!! hugs to you.....

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  11. I somehow missed that post and will have to go back and read it, sweet friend. I lived with my mom for four years and it was not easy. She tended to treat me as a child. She moved into a retirement apartment in May and she is loving it. So many new friends and stays very active. She comes over for cards and dinner every Sunday and it is working out great. Now I have the problem of my older sister who I am living with and who is very dependent. Got to set new boundaries. It isn't easy, but I know you will do what is best for all of you. xo Laura

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  12. Sounds like you're on the right track Susan..You come first as do your husband and Bentley..:)

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  13. Sorry, I missed a post and have now caught up. Sometimes boundaries are necessary to enable us to live our own lives. It may sound selfish but we have a life a too and we should never feel guilty. Take care of yourself xx

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  14. I just read your previous post and I know you have a lot to deal with right now and the decisions are not easy ones to make. I'll keep you in my prayers my friend...and your sweet mother! Sweet hugs!

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  15. I am so glad you've set some boundaries & made sure you each have time away from each other. It is hard but there are some great blessings in caring for your parents.

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  16. Susan, you are the best! Thank you so much for the shout out.
    I'm glad that you are working things out so you all can settle in and be happy.
    It's so hard when the roles become reversed, but you have to take the lead now.
    Big hugs and prayers,
    Patti
    smooches Bentley!

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Bentley and I LOVE and read every comment.

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