Thursday, March 19, 2015

Where Are We Going Now?


Bentley and I have been meeting with you here in this blog spot
known as Ash Tree Cottage for a bit over five years now.  
It's hard to believe that it has been that long and yet in some ways
it seems as though it has been much longer.  

So much has changed.  We no longer live in our little cottage in
Idaho but now live in a sprawling mid century traditional surrounded
by giant Live Oaks, azaleas, ginger and banana trees.

My Mom and Daddy are both gone now and I am no longer working
outside the home.  All has been a huge change for me and I am trying to
adapt to it.

If you look closely at Bentley's picture it seems he has the same
question as I do ….

Where are we going now?



Some days we just hang out at home.  As nice as it is, it really took me a
while to feel at home here.  And I have to admit that I have gone through
some very dark days in the past year.  Days when I really did not want
to get out of bed and face the day.  So we didn't.  It was just Bentley and
me in our own little world until David would come home in the
evening.

But I allowed myself that time.  I was feeling my way along the new
path of my life.  Not really certain if it was safe to go any farther.
The enthusiasm with which I used to great the day had fled, or
perhaps it was just hiding, I don't know which but I know that
I was unable to grasp it.



We hit the road quite a bit.  I jumped at every opportunity to run away
for a while.  I kept thinking that maybe I would run into the old me while
on the road visiting a new town but I never found her.  



She wasn't in the Texas Hill Country ….



or at the beach, nor ….



sitting on the balcony of a hotel on the San Antonio River Walk.
Gone, she was gone and not coming back.



So now Bentley and I are left with a blank canvas.  It's a time
when we can start anew with fresh ideas and leave the past
behind.  We have been poor correspondents.  We have been
in hiding for too long.  It's time to forge a new path and we
don't really know where it will take us yet.  But we are looking
forward to the opportunities that we stumble upon and those
that we grasp along the way.

This space will be under some construction.  We need a
facelift and we also need to bring you some more
interesting conversation.  Stay tuned.

Big Texas Hugs,
Susan and Bentley


18 comments:

  1. Susan, I am sorry you have been feeling that way. So glad you had Bentley with you and you were not alone until the evenings. I know for me I seem to have more feelings like that the older I get and especially in the winter time after the holidays. I look forward to your new adventures!

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  2. Susan,
    When we built our new country house 27 years ago, we had been living in a very nice house in town for 8 years. The night I did the final cleaning for the old house in town, I stood there in the empty living room, listening to every sound echo, and began crying. Yes, I was excited to move to my new dream house that we had planned and built ourselves, but my heart was sad to leave the house behind which had been home to so many memories. It took me several months, maybe even a year, before I began to really feel like my new house that I loved was HOME. It just didn't feel right. Now, I cannot imagine living anyplace else. It is home.

    I think you will begin to find yourself more each day as time passes.

    Judith

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  3. I look forward to your new posts and new adventures. My best wishes to you~

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  4. Susan - You've endured a lot in the last year or so. A lot of major changes. Naturally, it will take time to get your feet firmly planted in that Texas soil and feel like you belong. The jerk that hurt your feelings didn't help at all. But, I have all the confidence in the world in you and Bentley. You can make it and make it better than it was before.

    Judy

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  5. Susan, big life changes do change us. You will find this new path and I hope embrace it! We will be here and join you!
    hugs,
    Linda

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  6. Hi, sweet friend. You have had a very difficult transition to make. I wrote about how we can bloom at any age on my blog today. I feel a blooming is coming for you. xo Laura

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  7. Hugs hugs and more hugs to you and Bentley....

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  8. I am glad you are now coming out of your sad days. Your blogging pals will always be there for support and will be around when you feel like making conversation. Hugs to you and Bentley. By the way that is a cute picture of him.
    Rosezeeta.x

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  9. Susan, I have been worried about you especially the last week or so. Intuition? I don't really know. But I just said a little prayer for you. I think I have many of your same feelings but try to move forward each day. I believe life will get better once we get through this desert. Please continue your blogging. I so enjoy stopping by.

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  10. Hugs to you! Those are all big things. Hope the sunshine will breath its joy into you and make you smile!

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  11. I hope you find your new path soon.......who knows where it will take you :o)
    Happy Spring!
    ~Des

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  12. That's a very honest and sincere post! I'm new here but I like that you trust your readers enough to share these thoughts. I hope you've turned a corner and are finding yourself again--that little dog looks willing to help!

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  13. Isn't it interesting how life brings us to a point of finding ourselves with a clean slate at certain intervals and offers both the challenges and opportunities of filling it with new adventures and experiences. I find myself somewhat like that as we've bought a second home in Greece where my life is and will be vastly different from life here in the States. While excited about the opportunities, I am still wondering about the challenges. . .and part of that involves the direction my blog, my writing and I will take. I will watch with anticipation for your new path . . .good luck on your journey. ~Jackie

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  14. You two don't forget that you have cheerleaders a couple hundred miles north of you!!! The princess Posie and I are always ready for company!!!
    Blessings and hugs to both of you,
    J

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  15. Bentley is as cute as can be! Thanks for visiting my blog. I will be following along to see what the next page in your story will be. A good friend of mine says "whatever will be will be". A great saying I think.

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  16. I have no doubt you will find your way. It takes time and I'm so glad you have allowed yourself that time.

    Always enjoy reading your posts.

    - Alma, The Tablescaper

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  17. also at an unsettled, in between, finding my way, stage of life.

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Bentley and I LOVE and read every comment.

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