Letting Go of the Old to Embrace the New

A funny thing happened to me today.  After weeks of trying to feel 

comfortable in our new house, I quit trying and suddenly it happened.

I felt at home!

Now when I think of my little cottage (look at Bentley on his porch) that was so

deeply loved, I think of only happy memories, not the sad ones of leaving.

I think of the sweet and dear cottage that is now home to a retired pastor who

is happily living alongside property owned by his daughter.  It's like passing

on the baton to a worthy contender.

So I woke up this morning feeling so at ease.  So deeply at home.

What a great feeling it is.  And would you just look at those huge live oaks.

They just envelope the house.

I think back to when we first moved in a few months ago and

Bentley (and we were too) in a sea of boxes.  Everything felt

exciting and intimidating at the same time.

And then little by little things began to fall into place.

Uncertain steps, uncharted waters, but in we plunged.

Exploring our neighborhood.  Getting to know the terrain and our neighbors too.

Old favorites in a new home and adding some new elements too ...

And suddenly one morning you get up to make coffee, sigh and think

to yourself ...

Yes it feels like home now.

Big Texas Hugs,

Susan and Bentley

A Few Fun Finds For Your Home

source

I was looking for some wallpaper (because I am thinking of adding some
above the chair rail in our dining room) and I found this whimsical pattern.
Of course by now y'all know the real boss of this house is ...

Bentley!

Dog themes are huge in this house.

source

This paper is so dang cute, I have to find a place to use it.

Have y'all noticed how much Southern speech is creeping 

into my dialog?  

Okay then ~ I am fix'n to show you something else ...

source


I love this little lamp!  I am going to put it on my Christmas wish list.
I will have to really butter David up this year and Santa too
because my list is growing exponentially!

source

I recently found and purchased these Audubon nesting tables for
my Mom's bedroom.  We both love them!

That's it.  I'll be on the hunt for more.  Just click onto the source
so you can learn where you can get these goodies.  None of these
vendors have sponsored me.  I'm just giving them some free
publicity.


Show and Tell Friday

Bentley ~ hurry and go find a spot where we can use
that great wallpaper!

Big Texas Hugs,
Susan and Bentley

Thank You From The Bottom Of My Heart

There is something so renewing, so fresh, so spiritual about

white.  Clean, simple a new beginning ...

and it is a new day.

Thank you so much for all of your kind words and wise advice.

I reached out for help and you were there.  You uplifted my

heart when I was feeling defeated.  

Thank You!

You all gave me sensible, realistic and sound ideas for 

how to handle what I was not handling very well.

You were both firm and loving.  I could not ask for

better friends.

  

Your words of encouragement both as blog comments and

as personal emails touched my heart.  You uplifted me and gave

me hope.

The two most important things I learned was that I was (as one commenter

so wisely stated) being treated like a teenager.  So true and I was 

beginning to act like one too.

Years ago I had a little cartoon that I kept on my desk in my office.

At that time I was a pretty successful business woman.  I wore 

power suits, carried an expensive briefcase and had an expense account.

Now this cartoon showed a woman dressed like I was at that time.

She was headed to the airport to get on a plane to go home.

She arrives at the door of her parents home.  She has shed that

business suit, the briefcase has fallen to the ground and there

is a teddy bear in her hand instead.  She has reverted to a child.

I can't think of a better depiction of the person I have been lately.

Parents can do that to us.  They have the power to reduce us to

children when we no longer are.  Logically I knew this but

my heart had forgotten.

With your help I was reminded that I need to set boundaries.

That is step one.

Mom needs some freedom and some time away from me.

I am contacting a caregiving agency that provides 

companion services.  I will have someone pick her up

and take her places until Mom has established a network

of friends here in our new city.

I need to put the needs of my marriage first.

While I will always make sure that my Mom is

comfortable, safe and secure, her needs can be no more

important than those of other family members.

When I get frustrated I need to take a time out and 

exercise, meditate, have a facial or lunch with a friend.

Many of you suggested that I move Mom to assisted living.

Knowing me and knowing my Mom, I just can't do that.

I will do what I can to create the happiest environment for all

concerned and just not sweat the small stuff.

Thank You

Thank You

Thank You!

How blessed I am to have you as friends.

Please visit my friends 

Paula and Patti  

They are celebrating their 100th What's It Wednesday

Party.  Congratulations girls!

Big Texas Hugs,

Susan and Bentley

Adjusting To Living With Mom

Adjusting to having my Mom come to live with us has not been easy for

any of us, especially not for me.  Let me make myself very clear ~ I 

love my Mom very much, but she is in no stretch of the imagination an

easy going person.  One of the last things one of Mom's closest friends 

said to me before we left Idaho is "I love your Mom but she can be

quite difficult and demanding.  Stand your ground".  

Not an easy thing to do.

Unfortunately Mom believes that the world revolves around her.

This morning I had the sad task of informing her that my aunt and her sister

(and only sibling) went back into the hospital for yet more spinal 

compression fractures.  Mom's response was oh that's too bad.  I will

send some flowers.  Then she switched topics and spent the next

thirty minutes discussing her own aches and pains.   Mom is so 

competitive.  I will listen politely for a while but when I try to change

the subject to something more cheerful, she gets mad at me and sulks

for hours.

I even hate to bring this up, but I am at my wit's end.  A couple of days

will go by and we will get along quite well and then she is upset with me

once again.  This is not a new issue.  We have had this type of relationship

in the past.  She wants something, and if she does not get it immediately in

her time frame, then she is unhappy.  For example, a few years ago she 

wanted an artificial topiary.  She had me run all over town trying to find one

for her at the price she was willing to pay.  When I finally found one at 

Michael's and delivered it to her, she was fine and happy for a couple of

days.  Then I get a phone call that she had decided she hates  it and wants

 me to come right over with a saw and cut it into three different sections.

When I did not have the time to get over to her house to cut the topiary per

her schedule, she got mad, threw the topiary in the garage and sulked.

What is a daughter supposed to do?  Whatever I do is not enough.  When my

Daddy was still alive and before the Alzheimer's took over, he brought some

rationality to the picture.  Although she still sulked and carried on when she did

not get her way, he was far less tolerant and she would straighten up.  Oh how I

miss him.  He was always so sensible and intelligent.  But he's not here anymore.

My Mom is getting older and needs help.  Her eyesight has diminished because

of her macular degeneration.  We have done all we can to attempt it's further

deterioration, but it there is no cure at this time.  I have to read things for her.

I have to help her with her paperwork and explain what she cannot see for

herself.  I am happy to do this for her.  But I have another problem ~

her vanity ...

Mom is very vain.  She never passes a mirror without checking her

hair and her appearance.  Okay, I can live with that, but here is the rub.

Mom is getting to be quite deaf.  We purchased hearing aids for her.  

She seldom wears them because they interfere with her hair.  So if

someones says something she can't understand or she misunderstands,

she flies off the handle.  I am the one who gets the brunt of her anger.

Then there are the decorating issues.  When we decided to all live together

the agreement was that she would decorate the living room, dining room,

her bedroom, bath and the hallway leading to her those rooms any way

she desired.  I would be able to decorate the family room, kitchen, master

bed and bath and my little studio.  The back porch and patio were a joint

affair as would be the front entry.  We had a family meeting and all

agreed to that arrangement prior to moving to Texas.  

Once we arrived little arguments started cropping up.  As I mentioned 

before, my Mom is very competitive and she is also especially

competitive with me.  Once I started to set up the family room she 

commented that she liked what I was doing and said she wanted some

help decorating the living room.  I knew I would be walking on thin ice,

but I agreed to offer some suggestions.  Keep in mind that she is a very

nervous decorator.  She is always afraid of making a mistake.  Sadly

for her she can't relax and just do what makes her happy.  Over the years

she has spent a fortune (and I do not use that term lightly) on furniture.

Interior designers have come and gone by the dozens.  Thank goodness

Daddy had to spend a good bit of his career traveling and did not have to

witness the daily decorating drama that took place at home.

To get back to my current predicament, I agreed to help her find some

new pieces for her living room.   I spent hours on the internet looking at

antiques, book marking possibilities and showing them to her.  We

ordered several pieces that she liked and had them shipped from Georgia,

North Carolina and Virginia.  I thought everything was fine until one

day she just snapped at me and told me not to tell her what to do because

it is "her room to decorate".  I said that my suggestions were only that ~

suggestions ...

and that I only offered them at her request.  Did not matter.  She 

scolded me called me "young lady" (always in trouble when she calls

me that) and then went to her room and started throwing things in the 

hall.

I am sorry to go on like this.  I just need some help.  I know that I am too

close to the situation to be fully objective, or even objective at all.  I so

wanted this to be a good experience for us.  I hoped that we would be able

to spend her last years growing closer.  It seems like I say something or do

or not do something to upset her constantly.  I am getting so nervous now

and it's beginning to effect everything.  I snapped at David once last week

and last night too.  He does not deserve it and I don't want to be a shrew.

What I really want to do is curl up in a quilt and hide in my bed and

watch old movies.  Of course I can't do that and I know it so I

have to find some kind of an acceptable solution.   I need your help.

I have come to know so many of you and am continually awed by 

your compassion and wisdom.  I am willing to listen to any

advice you have.  I need tweaking.

Tweak It Tuesday

I am so thankful for Bentley.  He is such a devoted little guy.

I love him so.

Big Texas Hugs,

Susan and Bentley

Kitchen Decorating Dilemma

The kitchen in my old house was very tiny.  There were white 

cabinets and white bead board, black granite counter tops and lots

of pops of red.  It all seemed to work in that space.

Oh and although it does not show up very well, the floors were

wide plank pine with a light stain and finished in oil.

My new kitchen is bigger with lots of khaki paint, white cabinets and espresso 

stained wood flooring.  

The counter tops are Silestone in tan, brown and beige.   David and I

had a discussion yesterday and we decided that we may have to change 

the counter top around the sink and the stove when we pull out the 

existing stainless sink and swap it for my farmhouse one and also

when we pull out the cooktop and install my Viking.  So I well may

need to decide on new counters for this area, but some of the existing

counter will remain like this one in the pic above.  

So here is where where my decorating thoughts are headed now.

See the pic above?  Well this hallway leads from the breezeway into

the kitchen and breakfast room.  Now look a bit closer ...

When I first put this together I stood back and thought to myself, 

I am not missing the red.  Now I love red and use it quite a bit, but 

somehow the creams and the whites and the shades of the woven

baskets just seem so appealing to me right now.

If you were starting over, what would you do?

Your opinion won't matter to Bentley.

He's color blind.

Big Texas Hugs,

Susan and Bentley