Monday, January 23, 2017

I Had To Unfriend Someone On Facebook


Facebook has been a very combative forum recently.
The election, inauguration and women's march have
stirred up some very passionate reactions on the daily
newsfeed.  I have no problem with others having a
different opinion than my own.  It is both a right and a
privilege to be allowed to express one's opinion 
openly and without censorship and I would never 
prohibit that right.  


I also believe that it is reasonable to listen to both sides
of an argument and as educated citizens, I believe that it
is our responsibility to be open to differing views before
formulating our own.  

Recently I have read some opinions on Facebook that
differ greatly from my own.  I have tried to be accepting 
and not engage in pointless arguments, but recently I 
have become quite disgusted by the depths some will
sink to in order to express themselves.


If someone starts to curse excessively and use some
really foul language to express their opinion or to 
use nasty terms to describe someone whose opinions
differ from their own, I will not only refuse to engage, I
will unfriend.

I have given this option some thought.  I don't like the
idea of clicking that unfriend option, but it's an option
I sadly had to choose recently.  If someone decides to use
crude and abusive language to describe a person, groups, or
situations, it lowers my opinion of their character.  
Before hitting the unfriend button, I saw several posts over
several days of the same crude and abusive language from
this "friend" and decided that I finally had enough.  



Variety is the spice of life and I accept and welcome differing
views, but let's be kind, not nasty.

Big Texas Hugs,
Susan and Bentley




75 comments:

  1. Well said, Susan. I, too, have been disgusted and appalled at some of the self-expression I've witnessed in the last few days. I think you made the right decision for you, and that's what matters, don't you think?

    Have a great day!

    Denise

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I believe I made the right decision. I didn't do it to be hurtful.

      Delete
  2. It's really been annoying and sad at the same time. I tried scrolling down to avoid some things but I ended up unfriending one myself. I didn't do it on a whim but after about of month of thinking about it. I've noticed the political ads and news popping up more than usual. Gee, all I want to do is see how friends, family and cats are doing. Even when I disagree with someone on FB and decide to reply, my words are thought out and calm - it seems more and more lately that I don't even bother, I just scroll down some more and hope that sanity returns to friends and family. Cats? well, they are just funny.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think many of us are feeling just as you are, Carla. Thanks for joining in on the discussion.

      Delete
  3. I totally agree Susan. It is not my nature at all to be ranting on FB like that, and I choose not to be friends with people that do it. I also had someone I had to 'unfriend'. She became a vegan, and I posted a delicious meal of pork chops one day. She not only went off on me, she started in on my friends that were posting also. Unbelievable, when just 1 yr earlier, she posted her hubby in his new shearling coat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah yes, the food police :-) I can totally understand why someone would choose to be a vegetarian or even a vegan although I am not either and still eat meat. It's a philosophical decision that is also a personal one. I also think it is wrong to belittle one who has not made that choice. I too have experienced that kind of intrusive abuse of commenting. If someone wants to attack my point of view on my Facebook page I can take it, but don't start attacking my friends too.

      Delete
  4. I do it all the time! If someone uses foul language or gets too in your face about their political viewpoints on a regular basis, I just Unfollow.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I haven't unfriended anyone yet, but some people are so ANGRY that they say very offensive things.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's true. I also think that anger begets anger and at some point we all need to stop and take a break.

      Delete
  6. I have also unfriended a couple of people on FB and stopped following several on IG. It's for my own peace of mind. Kudos to you!

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  7. I certainly agree...sometimes you just have to do what you have to do!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Totally agree! Everyone has their opinion, just be nice and not in anyone's face, and no vulgarity!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I have to tell you its been hard this weekend with all the hate an lies on Facebook..I'll admit a few times my anger controlled me...But this morning I woke up wondering why I would give credence to a group I do not agree with. Why let them upset me? Its just not worth lowering myself to their level....Sometimes you have to do what's right for you..and that's should always be OK.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have been curtailing my activity on Facebook because it has been so angry lately. It's not worth upsetting yourself about.

      Delete
  10. Well said! I do agree, some prefer to voice their opinions in a rude and crude way and that totally diminishes their argument. If you can't reason your side with normal, clean language then I would not want to listen either. The rule I live by, never curse, never belittle someone and always keep an open mind and heart!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I don't blame you, Susan. I have no argument with someone having a different opinion from mine either but I'm totally on board with you about the nasty talk and just ugliness. I've had some ugliness happen on FB as you probably know. I don't use ugly words in person and don't use them on FB but some folks have gotten so nasty. It's such a shame. It wasn't me, was it? :)
    Be a sweetie,
    Shelia :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I could never, ever, dream of unfriending you Shelia! You are my bestest diet Dr Pepper drinking buddy!!

      Delete
  12. I am so glad this didn't end up being another rant against what has happened. I haven't un-friended FB friends yet but I wonder if this ranting will ever end. I have unsubscribed to two bloggers however. I subscribe to blogs because I'm creative in a small way and I love to be encouraged and inspired by bloggers. However one embroiderer did such a nasty distasteful design, I was appalled. The other went on and on and on with nasty hateful words. I also love the home decorating blogs. On facebook when people started saying to unfriend them if you were going to vote for him, I almost did but only because I live in America where you are FREE to vote for your candidate. It had nothing to do with who I was voting for or who they were voting for. I didn't think I lived in a communist country where you were dictated to-that's how they come across to me. I think it's just wrong and all the hate spewing out-the nastiest kind of hate. On FB I mostly just visit my groups now to look at all the lovely creations people are doing. It saddens me to see so much hate. Many people didn't like the last President and I never saw this amount of hatred but there was hate out there. The ones who did hateful nasty things then were just as wrong. Right is Right and Wrong is Wrong. I say whether you voted for the winner or not, give them a chance and criticize as they go about their work. Many predicted Obama would be assassinated and they also say the same about Trump now. I prayed for Obama to be safe and now I will pray for Trump to be safe. Murder is wrong..period. I also pray he will do great things for our beloved country and be a success because otherwise our country will definitely be affected in a bad way. I pray for our nation and I pray for my peace of mind during all this turmoil. Have a great day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am tired of the ranting too. I hoped that by now, everyone who wanted to rant would have cleared the air, but that does not seem to be the case. I pray for our country too. We are blessed to call this home.

      Delete
  13. I agree with you Susan. This past weekend, a friend posted something about the dresses each woman wore at the inauguration. I simply stated that I wasn't impressed by either. I got slammed - and by a couple of ladies whose FB/blogs I unfriended. I was told to SHUT UP! I deleted the entire string of comments [all nasty] along with my original reply. Quite troubling. But, that's OK...I won't tolerate that kind of behavior - on blogs or FB...or in person. Have a great week!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What has happened to women? Why are so many of them so angry all of the time? It's reached the point where one is afraid to say anything at all. Apparently there are a lot of unhappy women. I also think that social media often encourages this kind of behavior. It's not the media platform itself, it's just that people can hide behind a facade on social media and I doubt they would be quite so vulgar and hurtful if they had to stand face to face with their audience.

      Delete
    2. You're right Susan. Too many women are angry. I don't know what it all stems from...but they are out of control. The couple of ladies from blogs I referred to, seemed totally different on FB than on their blogs. Of course, they are getting paid on their blogs. But, if any of the paying advertisers found their disgraceful comments, they might NOT be getting paid.

      Delete
    3. I earn a small amount of money from this blog and can tell you that advertisers are made aware of my all my social media accounts. That being said, I assume it is true for other bloggers deriving money from their own blogs. I cannot really speak to the issue of having two personas. The women I follow have the same tone and attitude on their blogs and their FB sites so I have not noticed the disparity.

      Delete
  14. I have never been on Facebook for that reason. I have that some people become hateful and I want no part of that.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Susan, I totally agree with you! I respect the rights of others to hold different opinions, but this year it has gotten so nasty-especially by folks saying horrid things about those who think differently. I've posted about respect and loving others, but have found I need to also cease being pulled into their negative attitudes.
    Hugs,
    Noreen

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The negative attitudes just spoil the day!

      Delete
  16. I have been so sad and offended by many of the posts and conversations on FB. I too have had to unfriend a person or two.
    It's for the best.
    Jemma

    ReplyDelete
  17. I have unfollowed several people just this week. The political posts are getting worse instead of better. I refrained from putting anything political on FB through the entire campains. And after the election, when things still didn't calm down I just hit "hide post" because I don't want it on my page. I have even had to just ignore members of my family as their opinions are so opposite of mine and I can't look at their posts anymore.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I sympathize! I don't even want to get into the rift that is developing between family members. I ignore it too.

      Delete
  18. Yes, the election has really stirred things up. There have been times I want take a FB vacation ! I don't always agree with a lot of friends or friends of friends. There was also a big hullabaloo on another forum I follow over a band over the weekend. I can honestly say the only person I have ever unfriended was someone from school. I grew up in a very small town and during a time where racial differences were quite divided. I grew up and moved away and so did he. One thing I do not tolerate is hurting people. I don't tolerate racism, bullying, and abuse (human or animal). I have people facing illness and loss, birthdays and anniversaries, graduations, weddings, and several people expecting babies/adoptions (including the furry/scaley kind as well)-those are the people I want to connect with. Leave me out of politics and hate. I can always vote and complain and write letters and even march because I have that right to do so and only time will show how well or poorly our new leaders will do in their positions.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I won't tolerate racism, bullying or abuse either. I was a victim of bullying once and I have never forgotten the feeling. It took quite a bit of resolve on my part, because the person bullying me was an in-law.

      Delete
  19. You and me, Girlie! I unfriended several people over the weekend. I am so sick of being TOLD what I SHOULD think. Hey-just because I am blond doesn't mean I can't think for myself---lol The most disgusting thing to me about the latest two fiascoes was the amount of garbage and trash left behind. I am appalled that they think the OTHER TAXPAYERS that decided to NOT PROTEST have to pay taxpayer $$$ to clean up the mess they left behind. They said there was even excrement left in bags,etc. on the streets because they did not go to a bathroom/toilet. DISGUSTING!!! If you are going to take something IN somewhere take it OUT with you when you leave. Okay THAT is MY rant for the day and I certainly don't mean to offend anyone by it.
    What has happened to common sense and decency---even among women? Great post, Susan. xo Diana

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm with you Diana on every issue you stated!

      Delete
  20. Well said, Susan. It's bad some people can't have a different opinion then someone else without getting nasty about it. I think you did the right thing on FB. Everyone should be able to have their own opinion and not face backlash! Good for you,Girl!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Thank you for sharing this as I have recently made the same decision. I considered taking a break from Facebook in order to avoid all the hateful things being said but then I decided that I would be missing out on posts from family and friends that I enjoy so instead I just hit the unfriend button.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good for you! Facebook is wonderful for sharing friendships and none of us want to give that up!!

      Delete
  22. I hear you. I am so sorry. I know exactly what you mean. This election has been very hard. I agonized over who to vote for. I said very little and yet was unfriended by a close family member who had spent months and months posting whatever she wanted. It was very hurtful. Vulgar language is completely uncalled for. We need unity and dialogue. I have unfollowed quite a few but not unfriended. I want Facebook to be a calming experience not combative.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The rift between family members caused by hateful FB posts is tragic. I think it is very sad when one's family political disagreements are aired on the FB newsfeed for everyone to read. It's humiliating and the hurt is lasting.

      Delete
  23. I agree with you 100% Susan! This election has brought out an "in your face" attitude from many ... which has been really disappointing. Since last summer I've only visited my Facebook account a handful of times. I was finding it far too stressful! Debbie Hibbert

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think it is sad that today so many believe that "getting in someone's face" is perfectly acceptable.

      Delete
  24. I agree. I decided yesterday to just unfriend, unfollow and ignore several people. I have seen elements of their personalities that were hidden to me. I was so distressed (I don't distress easily,my work has trained me to deal with problems not react to them) that I had to take the day off, go for a ride into the country to sort out my thoughts. This has Never happened to me. To see such poor behavior and threatening insults is more than I can understand after this long campaign. I am done. It will take a while, if ever, to use Facebook again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The bombardment of hate on social media outlets has us all depressed.

      Delete
  25. Susan, this has been a hard season. Painfully hard. Sometimes it's disheartening to discover friends have vastly different ideologies... but foul language... that's another story. Shhh... don't tell... but I have chosen not to unfriend, but I hide people so I don't see them in my feed. I'm guessing they don't know. Sometimes it's for foul language, other times it's because they fill my feed and I want to see posts from others and don't really need to know their life's every detail. ;) Have a blessed and and keep spreading joy, my friend!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have hid friend's posts too when I find that they become relentless about posting political messages. I have only unfriended one person and that was after much soul searching.

      Delete
  26. I have un-followed quite a few persons due to excessive post-election coverage. The election is over, people. You don't need to keep trying to sell your candidate who I am tired of reading about.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The election is over and please, please, please, let's get on with the current agenda. The attitude of many reminds me of a teenager who breaks up with their boyfriend or girlfriend and then talks about the break-up until it becomes intolerable to listen to anymore.

      Delete
  27. I so understand! I've un-followed several and it might lead to unfriending. I find it so difficult to deal with all the anger and slander...I don't want or need that in my space. Of course, everyone is entitled to their beliefs but please, allow others that right too. I will be soooooo glad when this simmers down.

    xo
    Pat

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think that it is possible to have a difference of opinion without repeated vulgar comments.

      Delete
  28. I currently am avoiding FB like the plague. There is SO much hated from both sides. I choose not to subject myself with negativity.

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  29. I have had to do that also. What has been happening has caused a sadness in my soul....

    ReplyDelete
  30. I had to take a facebook break. The anger and ugliness was more then I could take. I will go back but I will block and unfriend anything negative. I'm on FB to check on family and friends, not tear others down and spew hate. Hugs!!

    ReplyDelete
  31. I admit that Facebook has become a place I no longer want to be anymore. I had posted a photo of comparison's of Jackie Kennedy's dress to the current first lady's in color , not saying anything hateful about the former first lady's choice and one person who was a friend came on saying inthe comment section rude, and vulgar statements. She kept stating these aggressive and blatantly nasty comments and while everyone is entitled to their opinion, I believe that is for a political discussion, not for a relaxed discussion about a dress, and certainly not in the vulgar language this person was using on my wall. She saved me the trouble by unfriending me, fortunately, I am glad to say and some other person unfriended me as well. I usually only unfriend people who get aggressively rude and post nasty, vulgar language on my wall. I go one step further and block them as well. I think we can all agree to politely disagree and let it go at that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly! When and why has a discussion of fashion become a forum for politics? Many of us enjoy looking at clothing and why should we be dragged into a hate filled environment for doing so?

      Delete
  32. You've gotten lots of positive posts, Susan! I add mine! I love the pretty peaceful pictures you added to your blog. They are delightful and remind me that even though there is lots of unpleasantness (is that a word?)in the world, there is also beauty if we look for it. Thank you for your lovely blog and sharing your life and Bentley's with us! You are delightful! God bless you!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Martha! I appreciate your support.

      Delete
  33. We noticed it too. People can get downright evil and rude just about everything
    Snorts,
    Lily & Edward

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank goodness for the kind and loving souls of dogs. Without you we would be a very sad lot indeed! Bentley sends you both a woof.

      Delete
  34. Amen!! Facebook and our Blogs should be happy and fun places. I don't blame you at all.

    Hugs,
    Judy

    ReplyDelete
  35. I am a new follower to your blog and glad I found it as you have some very pretty things to show and write about. I was thinking about re-signing with face book, but after reading some comments - I remember now why I left it the first time. All the ranting and raving of some just tires me out. At least with blogging there is more control with content and can share in a friendly way without all of the upset. Happy week to you - Betsy

    ReplyDelete

Bentley and I LOVE and read every comment.

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