Ash Tree Cottage

Thursday, January 8, 2015

My 2015 Bucket List

Vows to lose weight and exercise are on everyone's list after the

holidays. We all feel good about ourselves when we look our best, and

that's true for me as well. In the past seven days I have been exercising

on most days, eating healthy nutritionally balanced meals and drinking

more water. Within seven short days I can already feel the positive

effects these small changes have made. If you want to soar with the

eagles it is much easier with less baggage.

Now that I have decided to embrace this new year with enthusiasm and

excitement I also need to focus on what will boost my self esteem

which took a beating last year. I am pragmatic about my approach

to boosting self confidence. I really don't buy into much of the
self-help affirmations. I believe that you can stand in front of a
mirror repeating positive affirmations all day long and then walk
out the door and feel unhappy with yourself the minute someone
makes a negative comment.

Sorry Stuart Smalley ~ I'm not buying it:

It's an "empty suit". If you want to feel good about
yourself in a way that is lasting and complete then
do something with your life!

Learn something new. Push your own boundaries
and grow! Nothing gives you more self confidence
than knowledge and skill. The feeling of accomplishment
gives one more of an ego boost than any shallow
affirmation can. Just my opinion Stuart :-)

How do you do this? How can you afford to take a
course to learn a subject you wish you had taken the
time to learn in school?

When will you find the time in your already busy
schedule?

I am going to tell you about some things on my
2015 bucket list and most of them are free and can
be accomplished at any time of the day or night.

Number 1 ~ Enrich My Mind Through Books

Read! It's free, it's insightful and it can be done any time of the day
or night. Get out that library card or trade books with friends.
Don't just read the easy ones. Exercise your mind with the tougher
ones you always wanted to read but did not. Don't know where to
start? No worries, I have researched some options for you:

50 Books to Read Before You Die

Larchmont Public Library in Larchmont, NY has a wonderful
list of book group selections. I have read many off this list and
have enjoyed them. What I love about a list such as this is that
it opened my eyes to books I may not have considered but am
now so happy I did not miss

Book Group Selections

Your own library will have many of these titles and if not, ask
them to bring it in for you from another library. It can be done!

Number 2 ~ Understanding More About Classical Music

I enjoy listening to classical music and want to learn more just for pleasure
and also because of it's positive effects on good health. How will I
do this? With a free course offered through Coursera. It begins
on January 12th and I will be there.

This is just one of the many free courses offered through
the Coursera Organization.

Want more free course information? Try these:

MIT Open Courseware
Open Yale Courses
Harvard Extension School

Number 3 ~ Learn to Play the Violin

This one has been on my bucket list for several years
and it has remained untried. This is the year to take
up fiddle and bow and do it!

I don't know how 2014 shaped up for you. It was not the
best year for me, but this is the time to make the most of the
new year that lies ahead. I am working on being the best
person I can be. If I can help you in any way to achieve
your personal goals just ask. I am happy to help.
Now go out and have a good day!

Big Texas Hugs,
Susan and Bentley

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

So What Do I Do Now?

The holidays are now over. The worst of my mourning period has now passed.
It's a new chapter of my life and I am currently feeling "at sixes and sevens".

What do I do now?
How do I fill each day with meaning?
What is it that will make me excited about the future?

I have been giving these questions so much thought lately.
I have decided that there are only two ways to face life ~
full speed ahead or give up and hide under the covers.
I did think about hiding under the covers, I truly did. In fact,
in many ways I have been hiding under the covers for these
past many months. I was refusing to participate in a world
that had suddenly become so foreign to me.

Every once in while I would get the courage to face the real
world and then it seemed that something would happen and I
would go back to my self imposed exile.

Something did happen last fall that not only drove me back
under the covers but also sent me into what I now realize was
a deep depression. I tried to gloss it over but as everyone knows,
one can't cover a gaping wound with a little bandaid.

This something that happened was perpetrated by someone who

tried her best to hurt us. It came as such a blow to the bow that

it really threw me off course at a time when I was already treading

on very shaky ground. I was hurt and angered by a horrific lie

that was purposefully designed to destroy our security.

I cried. I hid. I felt terribly alone with my pain.

But life has a way of handing us opportunities on a

platter when we least expect it. My husband and I were

invited to attend a social event over the holidays where

this person was present. She, the perpetrator of the

vicious lies, saw me from across the room. She looked

at me and smiled and waved as if nothing had ever

happened.

We were in conversation with several others when this

smile and wave were directed at me.

I turned my head in her direction. Without uttering a word,

I gave her an icy Grace Kelly type stare. One look said it all.

I saw her hand slowly move downward from it's wave

position. I saw the corners of her lips turn downward from

their previously upturned smile. Her eyes began to look at

the floor.

Without lifting a sword, I had won the battle.

It dawned on me that night that I was given a sign, a message

that it was time for me to look ahead. One brief and enlightening

moment made me realize that I had not just won a battle, but

I had also ended the war within my soul.

No more hiding under the covers. It's now full steam ahead.

I can't turn my back on an opportunity to embrace life fully

once again. I am excited about the future despite not knowing

where my little ship will take me. I am looking forward to

the voyage and I hope you will enjoy the dialogue.

Big Texas Hugs,

Susan and Bentley

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

When Did Bad Behavior Become the New Black?

source

So much of the media today is dominated by people behaving

badly. Many hours of weekly television are devoted to women

who relish in petty fights and tantrums.

source

Sadly, these women are making fortunes screaming and fighting

with each other. These are not polite, polished, feminine women,

but rather they are crude, selfish and obnoxious. Yet somehow it's

become entertainment and what kind of message is it sending to

young girls of today?

source

Are we raising a nation of spoiled, selfish and willful little girls

who will grow ever more obnoxious as the years pass?

Is bad behavior the new black?

Yet, it's not just the petty fights and tantrums, it's also the

greed, lying and cheating that is gets the press and the

book deals and potential cooking shows. Last October,

reality TV personalities Teresa Giudice and her husband Joe

were sentenced to serve consecutive terms in Federal prisons

for bank fraud, wire fraud, and a laundry list of serious

financial crimes. Did they hang their heads in shame? Well

not really. While they showed some signs of remorse, they

continued to appear on television and various public

appearances. Of course they have enormous attorney fees

and are required by the court to pay back many thousands

of dollars they stole. Seems that bad behavior is big business.

However, there will likely be book deals for the two criminals

and there is talk of a cooking show for Teresa when she

finishes her Federal Prison term. In my book, orange is

NOT the new black.

source

In recent days a news story broke regarding convicted sexual

offender Jeffrey Epstein, his relationship with Prince Andrew and

other notables and their alleged encounters with under age girls.

None of these charges have been proved in court but I can't

help but wonder why Prince Andrew who is the father of two

young women, would want to associate with a registered sex offender?

I also read that Fergie ~ Prince Andrew's ex-wife accepted

money from Jeff Epstein to help pay off some of her mounting

debt. A decision she now no doubt regrets. As my mother used

to say, "nothing good comes from ill gotten gain".

Is ill gotten gain the new black?

Sex between consulting adults is one thing, but sex

between an adult and an underage child is never acceptable.

Underage prostitution is depraved. This kind of

activity is shameful and should be shunned and abhorred.

Depravity must NOT be the new black.

source

I have always loved this film clip from the movie
"The Blues Brothers". In this clip we see Kathleen
Freeman in the role of the nun who raised Jake and
Elwood in her orphanage. I will warn you that the
language is a bit rough, but the message is meaningful.
It seems to me that there are many who could use
some scolding from this stick wielding nun.
Maybe nuns should be the new black ;-)

It is my hope that the media will do more to promote the
actions of good people with kind hearts and peaceful actions.
I would love to see more programming about the lives of
accomplished women who contribute to society in positive
ways. I know that there are many out there, but they
don't receive the media recognition they deserve.
That's the new black I want to see.

Big Texas Hugs,
Susan and Bentley