On Friday, after finding out my Aunt Susan had just passed away,
I felt such great pain and shed great amounts of tears. I truly felt that
my heart, soul and body could not withstand another loss just when
I had felt the mourning period of the loss of my Mom was coming
to an end. If ever there was a time when I felt that my very soul was
being ripped out of my body, this was it.
I cried so hard my body shook uncontrollably. I kept thinking to
myself, do I fight against this heartache, or do I just give in and
allow it to engulf me? I started to believe that if I gave in, I
would surely die.
At my very lowest moment, when the pain was so severe and
the choice before me was imminent, I looked before me and had a
vision. I could see a group of people before me, unrecognizable at
first, but then their images started to become more clear.
At first I saw a man, who I recognized from photos, was my
maternal Grandfather. I had never met him because he died long
before I was born. Next was my maternal Grandmother who died
when I was quite young, yet I still could make out the image of her
that I remembered. Then followed three young children who I
realized were Mary, John and Elinor. These three were the children
of my grandparents who all passed in their youth. Then I could
see my Mom and all of them were welcoming my Aunt to stand with
them. They all stood in a big group in front of me as if they were
having a family reunion. They all were saying cheese and smiled
at an invisible camera. Then suddenly the image just froze. I felt
a calm come over me. My body stopped shaking and my tears
started to dry. Despite my sadness, I knew that I would be okay
and that life would go on and I would make the most of what time
I have left on this earth.
Then somewhere in the distance I heard a voice whisper to me:
That was my Aunt's motto and I realized the torch was being
passed on to me. Now it's time for me to carry on that torch
and be the best I can be in their memory.
Big Texas Hugs,
Susan and Bentley