Stalkers, Intimidators and Abusers

About five or so years ago, back while I was living in

Idaho, I was being followed for a while by a stalker.

At first it was a bit unnerving but then became more

frightening.  The man who was stalking me was 

mentally unbalanced.  He would have conversations

with imaginary others so I knew he had some form of

mental illness, but I did not know how extensive the 

illness was or how dangerous he could become if

provoked in any way.  

I told my co~workers about this problem and my 

stalker was being watched by security guards.

At first I didn't want to tell my husband about this

stalker because I knew David would just want to keep

me safe and locked up.  Eventually I had to tell him

and David watched for the guy so that he never showed

up anywhere near our home.

After a while, my stalker started to back off and I heard that

he started stalking someone else.  She became frightened as well.

The sad thing is that many take the attitude that until something

 overt happens, there is not much that can be done about one

 who stalks.  This can have very unfortunate and dangerous

consequences.

A short while after I moved away from  Idaho, I learned 

just how frightening ignoring a problem like stalking 

can become.  One day my former stalker became very

upset.  This time he wasn't content to just watch and 

follow, he became physically abusive to a couple of

women.  He flipped out and lashed out.  He was 

arrested and put in jail.  Although these women were

not badly hurt physically, the emotional wounds from

such an attack are very real and very lasting.

Stalking is a form of abuse.  It can terrorize it's

victim and leave lasting scars.  It is also 

intimidating.   A woman who is followed by a 

larger, stronger man is very intimidated.  A 

million thoughts run through your mind as to how

you will defend yourself should he over power you.

The stalker knows he is exerting a power over you

and this is thrilling for him.

Never allow yourself to be intimidated by anyone.

In the case of this stalker, he was a mentally ill person.

Yet many abusers are not mentally ill but emotionally

bereft.  If anyone is intimidating you or makes verbal

or written threats, know your rights.  Call the police

and report the threat.  Violence can and does happen

everywhere.  You may be reluctant to do so, but you 

are within your rights to make that call.  Let's strive

to prevent violence before it is too late.

Big Texas Hugs,

Susan and Bentley