Sunday, October 21, 2012

Have You Ever Been Dumped By A Friend?


Sometimes we meet someone and like that person instantly.  We
share laughter, hopes and dreams.




We share the good and the bad times.




We forge a friendship.



We share the same interests.



But sometimes for unknown reasons that person just drops you out of their life.
They don't call or write anymore.  You are no longer important to them.



And it hurts.  And all you want to do is crawl into bed and pull the covers
over your head and have a good cry.  So you do.  




But then you remember that you can't do that.  Life goes on and you
pick yourself up, put a smile on your face and carry on despite the fact
that there is sadness in your heart for a friendship that has been lost.

What was that old Brownie song?  Something like make new friends
but keep the old.  One is silver the other one gold.

Dogs don't dump you.  That's why I treasure you so Bentley.

Hugs,
Susan and Bentley



58 comments:

  1. I felt sad when I read your post. We just have to cherish the one's left in our life. They are who matter. x

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    Replies
    1. That is exactly what I plan to do. Thank you for your words of wisdom.
      Susan

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  2. Been there. And you always wonder what you did wrong. It took me a long time to realize the problem was with my friend, not with me. It was her issues to deal with, not mine. Then I was finally able to move past the hurt and just treasure the memories.

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    1. Mamaw Bee ~ I just love your name! I feel better already just reading your kind note.
      Susan

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  3. Oh, Susan. I'm sorry someone has hurt you. Unfortunately these things happen and I think we've all been there. You're so right, we're to be thankful for the friends we have.
    Blessings,
    Shelia ;)

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    1. You are so right. Sadly, it does seem to happen to everyone at some time. Fortunately I have good friends I treasure and am so thankful for them. We always need to focus on gratitude.
      Susan

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  4. Sorry for this, Susan. Who knows what is going on with another person. We can never really get inside their head, so as you say, life goes on. Know that there are those of us that stay true to our friendships, and that is a blessing :)
    xoxo
    Me

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    1. Well Robin you are my sister and my BFF! I am so thankful for you!!
      Susan

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  5. I'm so sorry. I've been there and I know how much it can hurt. Chin up and a cuppa. Bentley, momma needs you!

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    1. Thanks Melissa. I am sorry for your loss too. Life lessons can be hard, but we do keep our chins up and carry on.
      Love,
      Susan

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  6. p.s. I assume that is you in the picture. So pretty :)

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  7. Hi Susan, yes it has happened to me...in person..just one day disappeared from my life..was angry with me for something and even though that happened over 20 years ago, I still have no idea if it was something I did or said. I would be lying to say it didn't bother me for a long while, but I really haven't thought about it in many moons. A few years ago I saw that she was online somewhere and I sent a note, we chatted back and forth but at that point I realized I had no interest in maintaining that friendship any longer. Weird how that happens...I would say whatever happened happened with the other person and now wish I had not let it bother me for as long as I did..for what it's worth..hang in there:)
    Barb

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    1. I think that may end up being the same for me as well. I don't have a clue as to what I did. I wish her well though.
      Susan

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    2. I agree with Barb. This has also happened to me ... all the same things, why, etc. It may just BE that - interests change, people change, sometimes dramatically. If it was meant to be a true friendship, I think it would always be; and no matter how long the time in-between seeing or talking to each other, when you DO meet up, it's like two old shoes together again. I just think now that the "friend" in my case was meant to be there when she was, but not now. It opens the door for NEW friends to come in!!!!! :)

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  8. Hi Susan,

    Sorry to hear that your friend has hurt you. It's sad when someone walks away for no good reason. I think a lot of people including myself can relate to what you are going through. I'm glad you are feeling a little better and moving on. Some friendships are for a season! To meet a need, grow or new experiences. Praying you find new found joy! Give Bentley a big hug...you're right about a dog's unconditional love! Hope you have a great day!

    Blessings,
    Lisa

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    1. I had a good cry and thought to myself that I had always tried to be a good friend to this person. For whatever reason she decided to move on. So I will keep her in my prayers and let her go. Life is too short to hang on to sadness. I really want to be like Bentley and just love unconditionally and never hold a grudge.
      Thank you Lisa!

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  9. Hugs to you Susan. The problem is not with you. The problem is with a *friend* who would abandon another. Huggle on Bentley! Wishing you well.

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  10. I too am sorry for the loss of your friend. Treasure the memories.

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  11. Susan, only you have the power to let someone hurt you. Please take that power back. Obviously this person was not truly a friend. Yes, it has happened to me but I realized that this person was NOT really a friend and has some serious issues. Her problem, her loss. It's sad (for her) but I moved right on. I do have good, TRUE friends and those people are real treasures. you deserve real, true, honest friendship. Please don't mourn the loss of someone so unworthy. (())

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    1. Oh Francie, you sound just like my husband and he is so wise! Only I have the power not to let someone hurt me. I felt really blind sided at first. But in the hours that have passed and reading so many kind notes and wise words, I know that I can't control what someone else does. I can only control my actions and my own thoughts.
      Susan

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  12. Oh I am so sorry, this is very painful, but I'll tell you like I tell my 16-y-o daughter - it's NOT you! You are beautiful and sweet and kind ... Anyway, my best friend in 11th grade (my only friend, I was extremely shy back then) dumped me. It was horribly painful. I've seen her a few times over the years, in fact just a few weeks ago I ran into her at a yard sale - and she was still giving me the cold shoulder. So after a stern talk from my daughter (telling me what I always tell her), I let go of it and started praying for her. I agree with several comments above, it must be something *they're* going through. Anyway, you've always got me, we'll always be friends. Hugs ~ Mary

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    1. Your daughter is wise beyond her years. I plan to pray for my *friend* too. I treasure the friendship you and I have. In fact, I have your lovely pincushion right here on my desk. My grandma always used to say "what doesn't weaken you makes you stronger." Is that right? I don't think I am quoting her correctly. Any way, if grandma was here right now she would tell be to dry my eyes and go watch a funny movie, so that's what I plan to do. Thanks for being my Virginia lovin' friend!
      Susan

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  13. Been there too! However, a very wise person said this to me 5 years ago "you can only control, what you can control." I kept thinking about those words and then they hit me like a ton of bricks! Today, whenever a situation arises that is beyond my control, I think of those words - and it really helps!

    My advice, do something that makes you happy, play with Bentley, snuggle with David or both! It's your friends loss. I hope you have a wonderful day, despite what your friend has done = remember, it's her loss!

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    1. That's what I intend to do. David is going to be in a golf tournament today and I am going to stay in my jammies and watch old episodes of That Girl. And you are so right ~ I can only control myself and I can't control the other person. My motto for today and in the future will be, live, learn and move along. Thanks for your kind words!

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  14. WHY would you even want someone in your life who could be so petty as to not let you know there was something wrong or who would just stop talking, writing or calling you? That is good riddance and a good escape for you because there is not telling what else this person is capable of besides indifference. Count this as an insignificant chapter in your book, you just learned that there are still "mean girls" at every age.
    LOVE your new motto so
    Say a short sweet prayer and toss her out of your mind !

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    1. I have no idea why. That's what was so baffling for me. As far as I knew, everything was great between us. We emailed each other not too long ago and everything was fine and then poof, friendship over. This is a girl I have known for several years and we always enjoyed one another's company. I suppose one never really knows what goes on in another's mind. But I do wish her well because I didn't stop liking her. It's sad, but life goes on.
      Thanks Francie! Your kind words mean a lot to me.

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  15. Oh Susan, I know exactly how you feel. I was "dumped" by my friend about a year ago. She didn't call and one day when I ran into her she made a comment that she doesn't miss anyone. How rejected I felt. I came home a cried on Mr. Vintage's shoulder, but he said, don't worry honey, you have me and you have lots of other friends, you can't control that woman, but you can make yourself happy by being you. You are a wonderful mother, friend and wife. I wouldn't trade you for a million dollars. Well, that made me feel much better. I have since learned that I make new friends all the time, I have moved along and I just want to say that YOU my friend are a VERY good friend and it is her loss. I am so glad that I am your friend. I just wish we lived closer. Some day, I will come to visit you, David and Bentley. Snuggle up with Bentley, make a nice cup of tea and enjoy That Girl. You are the best in my books (((Hugs))) ~ wish I could give you a real hug. xo

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    1. Thanks Marianne. I thank the Lord every day for friends like you. I suppose we just can't always understand some people. I feel sad for this girl because I think that she may have a track record of destroying relationships. I'll just keep her in my prayers and hope that she can find friends she can hang on to.
      Love,
      Susan

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  16. Susan, some people come into our lives for a reason, or a season. Sometimes just to help us get through a particular dilemma or difficult time in our lives. We learn from these experiences. When they leave, it is supposed to be that way. The purpose was served. It doesn't mean we can't miss them, and feel confused especially if we know in our hearts we have done nothing to hurt them. I have been through this several times. I have learned to just let it go. I have a handful of friends I have known for many years, and they are closer to me than my own extended family. xo

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    1. You are so right Barbara! It was a shock and I am sad, but I did nothing wrong and I truly valued her friendship for as long as it lasted. The hurt will lessen.
      Susan

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  17. I can't say I've ever been in the position you're in, but I feel badly for you. Please don't blame yourself, we can't control what others do. Just move on and make new friends. She obviously wasn't worth having as a friend.

    XO,
    Jane

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    1. This has never happened to me before. I have kept close friends since childhood. I suppose that's why it was such a shock. I am moving on and counting my blessings and not this one loss.
      Love,
      Susan

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  18. Yes, it has happened to me, a friend of over 20 years suddenly stopped contact ,it was at first gradual. I ran into her a few years ago we hugged and I said call we will get together for lunch. No call, it does hurt but you go on sadly. The saddest part is that now you do not want to get too very close to new friends you hold back for fear of being hurt.... dog are good friend but then again so are cats. I like to think of it as " I had a very good friend" but by no ones fault people change we go on. Enjoy the now......

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    1. Oh Mary ~ so sorry to hear that this happened to you too. You are such a sweet soul. I just can't imagine anyone not treasuring your friendship! I certainly do!!
      Love,
      Susan

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  19. I have a sampler that my grandmother made.....Make new Friends Keep the old One is silver the other gold.
    SO sorry, I do know how you feel. My only friend from school just totally stopped calling, writing, sending bd cards. She lives in Florida and I live in Ohio. She never forgot a birthday. I would call or email and ask what I did. She would say no. What I think happened was her son got into trouble and she couln't deal with it and shut me out of her life That was years ago...........I did get a birthday card this month. Maybe their is hope as well. I don't think you did anything, her life probably changed and she did as well. But it is hurtful.
    ((((HUGS))))

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    1. first of all, belated Happy Birthday to you! I hope that your friendship is on the mend. Maybe the birthday card she sent you is an attempt to repair the rift. Let's hope so!!
      Susan

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  20. In one of my recent posts, I said that God gave us dogs to teach us unconditional love. Most people could learn from dogs because people always have conditions. Just give up your sadness to the Lord! Then it becomes his problem. That's what He teaches us - "Do not be anxious about anything......"

    XO Helene

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    1. How true! It's such a wonderful quality, unconditional love. We all need to be reminded and dogs do teach us that.
      Susan

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  21. Susan, first off my heart goes out to you
    She made me laugh so hard I could pee my pants, she became my sister she was so terrific, she held all my secrets-I felt so safe with her, she held me up when I lost my family members, she loved my kids and me, she was perfect- or so I thought.
    It has been years and yet still no clue why she left my life, even hurt my kids too. When i lost my son last year, the darkest days a woman could ever face some crazy part of me thought she would come back, at least to express her sympathy. She didn't. I can't believe it, she adored my boy. Looking back now as so many had told you, she had the problem, not me. I had blamed myself for so long for some mysterious thing I surely had done or said. Not any longer. Wish I was ther to replace your void, I AM a faithful friend! Lori

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    1. Dear Lori, I know that there is no pain greater than for a mother to lose her child. I recall the debilitating sadness I felt each time I miscarried. Yet I also know that the pain I felt for my loss could never be as great as to lose a child later on. My heart goes out to you. Shame on your friend for turning her back on you at your time of great loss. I sincerely hope that you never blame yourself for the loss of her friendship. I will be honored if I can take her place in your life. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
      Love,
      Susan

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  22. I was there fourteen years ago. I still do not know to this day why I lost the friend. I do miss her, but life goes on. I have learned that friends come and go in your life and just enjoy them while they are with you in the present.

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    1. That's a wonderful and true reminder. Thank you!

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  23. Hi Susan. It is so hard when you lose faith in someone who you thought was a good friend to you. I have that too and the sad thing is I don't even think she knows it. I really try to keep my head above it all, because I know that it is not anything that I did, and there are other ones involved that are so close and dear to me, that I just have to "turn the other cheek," as they say. Hang in there, the good always win!! And you do have Bentley, bless his heart..Happy Sunday..Judy

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    1. Judy as I have been reading all of these lovely comments I have come to learn that we all suffer these set backs. It's helpful, or at least I think it is, to share these human frailties and to support each other. I have often heard it said that we create many of our own problems and I believe that to be true. If only we could remember to treat each other with kindness and in the way we would like to be treated. Thank you for your support!
      Love,
      Susan

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  24. I know exactly what you are talking about! True friends don't do that. Lovely images in this post.

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  25. Yes, this has happened to me. And it's such a shock. Such a painful thing to go through.
    Brenda

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  26. Sounds like you have many friends here who care about you! Hope you enjoy your day with Bentley and That Girl. Thank you for being so honest and sharing your true feelings.

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    1. I am so very touched by the kindness and generosity of my blogging friends. Your support is greatly appreciated. Blogging has carried me through some of the darkest days of my life ~ when my daddy died and I came close to losing my mom too. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart!
      Susan

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  27. There is a saying that goes- People come into your lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. And only time will show which ones are which. Sorry for your hurt. Sending you hugs.

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  28. Well, this is just terrible. I can't imagine anyone who would want to drop you as a friend. I am getting on my mean face. I bet Bentley is just feeling terrible for you and wanting to give you lots of love. And don't forget, we all love you.

    Hugs,
    Laura

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  29. This sounded so horrible...my heart felt just terrible. maybe there's a reason they disappeared you never know...have you contacted them to see...well its just terrible. I don't have alot of friends for the simple reason of so many things going wrong...I just decided to stay with myself..don't like being hurt by friends...believe if or not I just have some close facebook friends i never met in person...but them i wish i could...idk...so sorry...i hope your feeling much better sooner ...with love JANICE

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  30. Hi Susan, I so relate to this post-I once had a friend as close as a sister, we raised our kids together and thought we'd be friends til the end. Then she up and stopped communicating with me. I wrote and wrote and called and called. Finally after about three years I called one more time and she answered-finally I learned she was jealous of the relationship I had with my daughters. It was like a death with the friendship ending...it hurt so much. I am thankful for those friends that have stayed through thick and thin..life and death. I am also so thankful for blogging friends too! You deserve the best. I am truly thankful for beloved pups who love us unconditionally!
    Hugs, Noreen

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  31. Wow! I can't believe there are 55 comments on this post. I thought I was the only one that this had happened to. I am so sorry for the pain you are going through. I had a close friend who called me Little Sister. She suddenly stopped calling and started saying she was too busy to talk when I called her. It really hurt, hurt, hurt for a long time! I couldn't figure out what I did wrong. Then a mutual friend told me she had been shut out, too! So it wasn't just me. Later I found out several things had happened in my friend's life (she started an affair with another friend's husband) and she just didn't want to be a friend anymore. Once I understood, it didn't hurt anymore. But the fact that she would just shut me out really hurt and we don't connect anymore. Good riddance!

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  32. I'm sorry that you are feeling sad. I believe that your former friend is the one who has lost.
    I believe true friends would never do anyting like this. I hope you are feeling better soon.

    hugs
    Sissie

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Bentley and I LOVE and read every comment.

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